


Realizations

by inkfiction



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Archiving previous works, F/F, Pre-Slash, some season 1 stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:01:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25976380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkfiction/pseuds/inkfiction
Summary: Emma makes a discovery at the Mills’ Residence.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	Realizations

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on May 6, 2012. Minor edits.

Emma entered the Mills’ residence on tiptoe, closing the door behind her softly, even though she knew Regina was supposed to be in a council meeting at the Town Hall right now and only Henry was at home — sick and in bed with a bad case of Strep throat. 

He had sent a message to Emma through their walkie-talkies early in the morning, telling her where the spare key was hidden and at what time the mayor was supposed to leave the house to go to work. Poor kid had sounded really down with it. 

Emma’s heart clenched in her chest at the memory, and she clutched the container of chicken soup she’d picked up from Granny’s on her way here even harder.

She crossed the small foyer on light feet, setting the soup down on a small table along the way. She was about to step on the stairs when she heard a small, muffled scream which made her pause. 

The sound had come from the direction of what she knew from a previous visit to be the mayor’s study. She frowned at the slightly ajar door, changing her direction mid-step towards it when a high, cold voice permeated the hall and made her stop cold in her tracks. 

It was Regina and she sounded very angry.

“Did you really think you could get away with this? And right under my nose!”

Dear God, had she discovered about Henry calling Emma over? What the hell was she doing here at home, anyway? Emma had checked with the Town Hall, and the meeting had been definitely scheduled. 

The voice rang out again, full of fury.

“Such a puny little thing like you! You foolish, foolish boy, did you really think you were a match for the Evil Queen?”

Silence reigned, punctuated by a small, pitiful whimper. Emma felt the earth shake a little under her feet. What was the meaning of this — Was Regina really —?

“Did you really think you could fight me, little boy? You have no idea what I’m capable of! I shall destroy you and everyone around you, if it’s the last thing I do!”

“No! No, please don’t!” the scared little sound pierced Emma’s heart. It was Henry, it was definitely Henry. And he sounded terribly scared, his voice thin and small like a little boy’s. “Please, mommy—”

And it was that more than anything else which goaded Emma into action. She didn’t care if Regina was the Evil Queen or the devil itself, she wasn’t going to touch Henry.

“No one is going to save you now!” said Regina and began to laugh maniacally.

Emma crashed through the door hard enough to make it ricochet off the wall just as the music reached a deafening crescendo—

Wait. What?!

The scene that met Emma’s eyes brought her up short. Regina sat behind her desk, her faint smile having given way to shock, her face bewildered and stained with tears. 

On the table in front of her was a laptop, the sleek, powerful speakers beside it now emitting a delighted squeal of childish laughter punctuated by “Do it again, mommy! Do the laugh again!” with music — much softer now — playing in the background.

“You were — watching a video,” Emma said, cringing inwardly at her faux-heroic action.

Regina swallowed hard and abruptly got up, turning her back to Emma, facing the window behind the desk to compose herself. The mid-morning light outside made the dove-grey of her simple dress look much darker; she looked so small silhouetted against the window. 

Emma stood there, completely mortified with herself, and with no idea of what she should do. She’d actually thought for a moment that Regina was — she shook her head to clear it, and took a deep breath. Shit. Henry’s stories were really rubbing off on her.

“Sorry?” She offered, biting her lip and sighing. This grave she’d dug for herself.

Regina finally turned around and hit ‘pause’, freezing Henry’s laugh mid-giggle.

She looked much more composed than before. The smudges of mascara and the tear stains that Emma had seen earlier were gone. The only indication that she had been crying was the slight redness of her eyes, and even that was fading fast.

“What are you doing here, Sheriff Swan?” When she spoke her voice was just as cold as ever, and even more aloof, if that was possible.

“I — uh — came to see Henry—” Emma began, praying to God that Regina won’t ask how she got inside the house in the first place. Because that led straight to Breaking, Entering and Trespassing 101.

“And decided to barge into my study like a bull after a matador, I see.”

“There were—” Emma swallowed, hard, “—voices. I thought — and then that laugh—”

“You  _ didn’t _ think, actually,” Regina said, voice dripping with disdain. “Because if you had  _ actually _ bothered to think even for a second, your mind wouldn’t automatically have jumped to label me as the Evil Queen performing her villainy. On her own son.”

“I’m sorry,” Emma blurted out before Regina could say anything else. “I brought soup!”

Regina took a deep breath and was quiet, looking like she was weighing which cutting remark to make, but then she surprised Emma.

“Henry is sleeping,” Regina said, fatigue creeping into her voice despite the strong front she was trying to present. “He was up half the night with the fever and the coughing—”

“Is he better now? What about meds—?”

“I called Dr. Whale. He came and prescribed some antibiotics, and a cough syrup. Gave him a shot for the temperature.” Emma made a sympathetic face, Regina almost smiled. “You are lucky you weren’t here, it wasn’t pretty. He hates shots.”

“Yeah, well, who doesn’t?” Emma shuddered.

“Yes, I can see where he gets it from,” said Regina drily. “Anyway, as I was saying, he is much better now. He went to sleep almost an hour ago.”

Emma bit her lip and nodded.

“I’ll give him the soup when he wakes up,” Regina continued in a softer tone.

“Hey — didn’t you have a meeting at the Town Hall?”

“Miss Swan, did you really expect me to attend an inconsequential and meaningless Town Hall meeting while my son lay sick in bed?” Any traces of softness seemed to have vanished from Regina’s voice.

Emma cringed inwards, mentally bonking her head with a hammer. Stupid, stupid,  _ stupid. _

“Uh, yea — I mean, no, of course not, Madam Mayor,” she took a deep breath. She knew she should really be leaving by now, but her curiosity got the better of her. She pointed at the laptop. “Were those Henry’s old home videos you were watching?” 

_ And crying over, _ she stopped herself from adding.

Regina’s lips thinned into a hard line but she nodded.

“Can I—?” And before she could stop, Emma found herself moving towards Regina behind the desk.

A little irritated huff escaped Regina’s lips. 

“Well. I suppose so,” she said, looking like she was swallowing something bitter, and hit ‘play’ as Emma reached her side.

Emma fixed her attention on the laptop screen to see a smaller, chubbier but unmistakable Henry bouncing excitedly in a laughing Regina’s lap. Emma had never seen the strict mayor look so happy and relaxed as she looked on that screen as little Henry squealed in delight, begging her to do the evil laugh once again. 

Her whole face was transformed, but what was even more striking was the look of shining, unabashed love and hero-worship in Henry’s eyes as he looked at Regina. 

With a sinking heart Emma realized it was the same look he got in his eyes when he gazed at Emma now. Ever since she had come to Storybrooke, she had never once seen him look at Regina like that. He looked at her with disgust, yes, mixed with fear and caution. Hatred, even. But never this kind of undisguised, pure, childish love anymore.

For the first time since coming to Storybrooke, Emma understood a little of what Regina must have felt, and her heart contracted with sympathy. 

She gazed obliquely at the cold, calculating, always composed woman standing beside her and noticed the slight film of moisture that had begun to gather in dark eyes, the redness of the rims becoming prominent once again. 

Emma didn’t know what to say, didn’t know if she should say anything at all.

“He had just turned six,” Regina said abruptly, nodding at the screen, voice hoarse and heavy with unshed tears. “This was a month after his birthday. We had just watched Enchanted, and for some unfathomable reason he was obsessed with the Queen’s laugh.” Regina let out a chuckle. “I don’t even remember how many times he made me do it for him, the laugh.” A sad, wistful note crept into her voice.

“He grew up so fast after that,” she sighed and grimaced. “And then he found that damned book. And then he found you.” She gave Emma a piercing look, lips once again set in a hard line. “And now—” 

She brushed at her eyes with the back of her hand. She didn’t complete her sentence, but she didn’t have to. Emma knew what she was going to say.  _ And now he hates me. _

A sudden urge to comfort her made Emma touch Regina’s arm lightly, causing the other woman to glance up at her.

“I’m sure it will pass, it’s just a phase.”

Regina shook her head, her smile sad and small. “You don’t know that, dear.”

“Well, I’ve seen him with you and as far as I can tell—”

But Regina cut through in a harsh tone. “My relationship with my son is not open for discussion, Miss Swan.”

“Regina, kids go through phases all the time…”

“What would  _ you _ know about children?” Regina snapped at her all of a sudden, the hardness in her voice making Emma recoil for an instant.

“Nothing,” said Emma in a low voice after a moment of silence. “I know nothing about children.”

Regina bowed her head and closed her eyes. “No, you don’t, do you?” She said tiredly, pinching the bridge of her nose, her eyes still closed. “I think it’s time for you to take your leave, Sheriff. You came to check on Henry, he’s fine now. You need not be worried. Have a good day.”

“Uh—” said Emma, not sure what to do in the face of such abrupt dismissal, and feeling not a little hurt by Regina’s stinging remark of a moment ago. She was pretty good at hiding her hurt — she had to be, growing up like she did in foster homes, and getting about like a rolling stone — but Regina must’ve seen something in her eyes or read something on her face because she sighed.

“I am sorry,” she said curtly, surprising Emma once more. “That remark was uncalled for. It’s just — I haven’t slept all night, and my nerves are rather shot, I’m afraid. I wasn’t thinking when I spoke.”

Emma blinked. 

An apology from Regina — an eloquent and heartfelt one, at that! This must be a first.

“Who are you, and what have you done with the mayor?” Emma feigned shock, but smiled at her to show it was okay, trying to avoid antagonizing her any further. 

Regina only shook her head in response.

“Listen, it’s all right,” Emma said, noticing the dark shadows under Regina’s eyes and the tired lines on her face for the first time since she’d entered the room. “Look at you, you are almost burned out. Why don’t you sleep for a while—?”

“I can’t sleep!” Regina looked shocked, as if Emma had uttered blasphemy. “Henry—”

“Henry is sleeping right now. No, seriously, listen to me — you need to sleep, so that when he gets up, you can take care of him.”

“But if he needs something—”

“I’ll stay with him while you catch up on your sleep,” Emma offered. Regina gave her a suspicious look. Emma almost rolled her eyes. “Hey, if you burn yourself out, how are you going to look after Henry? You’ve been up all night, too. You need to rest.”

“This is not the first time he’s fallen ill, Miss Swan. I’ve stayed awake through worse.”

“Of course you have, you had to. Because there was no one else,” Emma said in a reasonable voice. “But right now you  _ don’t _ have to.”

She waited for that to sink in as Regina looked into her eyes.

“I want to,” said Regina simply.

“I know you do,” Emma said, “but you’ll be no good to anyone, least of all Henry, if you overexert yourself, compromise your immunity, and fall ill. Who’s going to take care of Henry, then? Who’s going to take care of you?”

Regina let out a resigned sigh and gave a single, curt nod. 

“All right. I will,” she said.

Even after that it took two more lectures from Emma, a cup of hot tea, a visit to Henry’s room for a pre-nap check-in and kiss, and finally Emma’s exasperated threat to bodily carry her off to her room to make Regina finally go to bed. 

A hurriedly compiled but nevertheless detailed list of instructions was left for Emma by Henry’s bedside.

When finally the house was absolutely quiet around her, Emma sank down into the chair that had been placed near Henry’s bed. For a minute she just looked at him. His cheeks were somewhat hollower than before, and he looked pale and haggard, but also content. 

She watched as he sighed and mumbled something about ‘ _ mom’ _ and  _ ‘big, round waffles’ _ and it made her smile. She smoothed back his hair. He was still a little kid inside despite all his precocious seriousness, and much as he liked people to believe otherwise, he still called out for his  _ mom _ if he needed something at night or woke up scared from his dreams. 

This was pretty much proven when he turned over and croaked, “Mom?”

“Hey, kid,” Emma was by his side at once. “It’s me, how’re you feeling?”

But he was still half-asleep, he didn’t acknowledge her. “Mommy, throat hurts…”

Slipping an arm around him, Emma lifted him gently so that she could give him a drink of water. He opened his eyes as she lowered his head to his pillow, tucking him back in. He looked confused to see her.

“Emma?” he croaked. “Where’s my mom?”

“Hey,” Emma pushed back his hair. “She’s sleeping, I made her go to bed cause she was so tired.”

He looked at her with lost, little boy eyes, pouting a little.

“She’ll be here the moment she wakes up, I promise, okay? I’m here for the time being. Do you need anything?”

He shook his head and closed his eyes without saying anything else. She sat beside him, stroking his hair until he went back to sleep and his breathing evened out, before getting up and sinking back into her chair and sighing to herself.

She couldn’t promise that if the occasion ever arose, if she had a chance to do things all over again, she would do many things differently. No, she was not in the habit of carrying regrets around. But what she was feeling right now was the closest she had ever come to regretting ever coming to Storybrooke. 

She had always felt she was justified in staying, still did, she just hadn’t realized how much she was helping in widening the chasm that had developed between Henry and Regina. 

It wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair.

She let out a tired breath, changing her position to get more comfortable. Maybe there was still some time left to make amends, and Emma Swan was nothing if not determined. She would make that happen.


End file.
